i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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