Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize