it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
