No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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