i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
