Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
