i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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