Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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