come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
