I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
