I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
