Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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