Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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