wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
