Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
