HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize