the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
