It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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