guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
