you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize