I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
