if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
