u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
