Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
