i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
