We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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