I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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