he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
