Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
