Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
