There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
