Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
