ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
