Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We are all done wearing pants today
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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