remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
