hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
