That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
