"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
