thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
