we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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