I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
