My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
