I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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