ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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