Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
