I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
