speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
