Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
