awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
