I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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