There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
