I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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