just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ketchup is God's man juice
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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