Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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