There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
