the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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