Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
