Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
