i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
