wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dear god my vagina.
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