dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
