i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
