Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
